Saturday, December 16, 2006

13 Things I Don't Like About Christmas




I’m feeling rather Scrooge Like this week. Most likely our unseasonable high temperatures and humidity have some bearing on this.

Incessant Christmas Carols. Clear Channel Radio starts their Christmas Medley about mid- October. The medley consists of The Little Drummer Boy, Have a Holly- Jolly Christmas, It's the Most Magical Time of the Year and White Christmas. Play and repeat. Over and over and over again.

Christmas makes school children wild and crazy. Very wild, crazy and rambunctious. Everyone is so ready for the winter break (which is a good thing about Christmas) and tempers are short.

All of network television goes on hiatus and we are treated to one re-run after another, not to mention one sapppy Christmas special after another.

It marks the beginning of the College Bowl season. This was fine when the bowls consisted of Sugar, Orange and Rose. Somehow, I have trouble taking The Chick-Fil-A Bowl, The PapaJohns.com Bowl and the Meineke Bowl seriously.

Said re-runs and bowl games are interrupted by Christmas themed commercials. The musical backgrounds for said commercials are selected by Clear Channel.

The traffic! It’s bad enough in Houston under the best of circumstances.

The pressure! I don’t think even Martha Stewart has a Martha Stewart Magazine Cover Page worthy Christmas. If this is such a blessed time why does every magazine and newspaper include lists and tips on surviving the season?

Mugs! Who decided that Christmas Mugs are a suitable gift for all holiday occasions? They must have unlimited cupboard space. May they be pelted with them.

Tacky Decorations. Christmas seems to be a license to kitsch. In Houston, it’s spawned a rash of giant blow up lawn art. The fat Santa’s were bad enough but this year the best yards are sporting a giant snow dome with moving figures and Styrofoam snow. Did I mention our weather is unseasonably warm?

Food – to much, to sweet, to high calorific. I don’t want to see, let alone taste another slice n’ bake, sugar sprinkled star cookie for a very long time.

Holiday Decorated Sweats, Shirts, Vests and Sweaters. Perhaps this is a Texas thing but Christmas seems to result in woman wearing sequins in the daytime. A 50+ woman with a double F chest has no business wearing a shirt adorned with a snowman who has appliquéd goggley eyes atop each nipple. Don’t get me started on twinkling Christmas light earrings and Reindeer headbands.

Slim pickings at the thrift stores and garage sales.. Slim pickings are not good for acquiring inventory.

Long, long, lines at the Post Office. Which has Clear Channel Radio playing.
Did you know that they really do play “Holly Jolly Christmas” once every 15 minutes?


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5 comments:

ChupieandJ'smama said...

Your list made me laugh! I'm with you sister on the children being crazy. Mine are out of control right now. I'm hoping its because of Christmas and not some new personality trait that just emerged. I hate reruns too. I was do disappointed on Thursday when I tuned in to find Gray's Anatomy a rerun:( I hope you have a very Merry Christmas (minus the ugly Christams shirts and Clear Channel radio).

Terri said...

Thanks for visiting me....I'm late this week.
I can SOOO relate to your list. I did a "Bah Humbug" list a couple weeks ago.
Those tacky blow up snow domes are too much...we have them around here too. Yuk!
Despite all it, wishing you Happy Holidays.

Justin said...

Network television on hiatus has to be the worst thing about the holiday season. I actually got to catch up on Heroes this week though. But, it'll still be a while before that's back on.

I guess I'm the opposite on Christmas traffic. Since I live in a college town, the traffic gets better. Somewhere around 20,000 people clear out. It's actually a relief.

Robin said...

LOL! That is funny. Thanks for your visit this past weekend. We did take Moey to the vet. She has a secondary infection, whatever that is.

desert rat said...

In our neighbourhood the newest annoying fad is inflatable Christmas lawn decorations; they're *everywhere*. Although I'm amused to note that someone seems to be going around with a sharp object and deflating some of them (not me, honest).