Monday, May 28, 2007

How Not to Have a Garage Sale

Standard garage sale ad: Moving, books, clothes, furniture, household items and so on and so forth.

Location: Very up scale part of town where the cute bungalows are losing the battle to the brick MacMansions. Large corner lot, where it is apparent brick had triumphed over wood shingles.

A favorite haunt of serious garage sale shoppers who are not to be trifled with

We pull up at 7:45. The doors to the triple (told you brick was triumphant) garage door are shut tight. A crowd has already gathered and we recognize several folks we’d seen at earlier garage sales. At 7:55 a car pulls into the driveway, almost mowing down a few of the early birds, and a woman gets out.

“It doesn’t start till 9, I made a mistake in the ad”.

Incredulous looks from the masses – garage sale rules are such that 8 means 7 and if the ad lists the wrong time you go with the flow. Etiquette also says that you don’t park in your own driveway if you are hosting the sale. Nor run over your customers.

“Let me get things organized and I”ll start the sale”

The throng is stunned into silence.

She opens the garage door and the horde, not believing her streams on in. She closes it, almost decapitating a few of them in the process.

After about 10 minutes the doors open up again. The teaming masses; who are by now whipped into a frenzy once again rushthe doors and start to grab at everthing they see. Again, garage sale rules are that if it’s in the front of the garage it must be for sale. Rejects litter the driveway and people start to squirrel little heaps here and there.

“Get out”
“Put that down”
“That’s not for sale”
“I’m not ready to start the sale”
“I need to close the doors and get ready”
“I need to ask you to get out of the garage”

Everyone ignores her. Finally, she once again lowers the doors and people scramble for safety.
We; by the way are standing to the side, not quite believing what we’re seeing.
It’s like watching a very bad Fellini film.

The doors open again. It’s apparent she has nothing sorted nor are things priced. For sale items are right next to not for sale items and there isn’t any way to tell them apart. Stuff is strewn all about the driveway, which is also sprinkled with broken grass from toppled vases.
We shake our heads and depart, leaving the women to her customers – or perhaps her vultures.

I suspect Marie Antoinette felt much the same way when the Paris mob stormed the palace.

1 comment:

Butterfly Angel said...

Wow, talk about being totally unprepared. Did her cheese slip off her cracker? Oh, let them eat cake...

Thanks for making me smile!

BTW, go ahead and use the ideas you asked about. Educators need to share ideas with one another.