Monday, July 04, 2005

A Series of Unfortunate Events

This weekend is my family reunion - it's not a big wing ding, being there are 3 of us, our respective SOs, my mother, her twin sister and 3 grandchildren. But we live all over and every 5 years my mothers calls in the chips and we all trek to North Carolina.

This year, we were to convene on a B&B in Tryon, a small & charming town on the NC/SC border. My mother and brother (I come from a family of compulsive planners) checked the place out but somehow between then and now it went through not 1 but 2 new owners.

Our first inkling that something wasn't quite right was when we couldn't find the B&B , despite having printed the map from their web site. Seems 2 highways converge through Tryon, and they got a tad confused as to which highway they were on. Rather odd that they managed to do that since they smack dab in downtown Tryon and only one highway runs through the strip of stores and coffee shops.

Second inkling - We ty to call the inn and and can only get an answering machine.

Third inking - we finally find it, no proprietor is to be found. Assorted loud coughs, "hellos", knocks and ringing of a bell finally produced a barely legal to work teenager who doesn't know the Goth look is passe. Her attire goes with the rather dim and gloomy lighting - I swear there isn' a light bulb stronger than 20 watts anywhere on the premises. We understand why later.

Fourth inkling - the door knob comes off the door to our room as we try to open it. We learn this is a regular occurrence as they drop off every other door in the place over the course of the weekend. We are told the building is "very old". That becomes the catch phrase for every other problem we incounter.

Fifth inkling - the room odor is something between wet dog and musty closet. My beloved points this out to Miss. Goth, 2005. "Oh yea" she responds, it usually doesn't smell to bad, but it's been so hot lately. Turn on the AC and it should go away".

We go to lunch with the family and pick up a few candles just in case. 2 hours later candles & AC have lost the battle and wet dog is triumphant. My Beloved's allergies are out in full force (they love this place) and it's very apparent we can't stay there. Tryon is not large and it's 4th of July weekend. Not a lot of options. We call the Minosa Inn, a B&B we'd passed in our fruitless search and they graciously take us in. Place is clean, door knobs know their place and it smells like warm cookies and hot coffee.

All is well, My Beloved plays golf and I hang out with my family at the B&B, AKA the summer home of the Addams Family where we start a football pool as to whose doorknob will drop off next. The entire family goes out to dinner in a near by town. Much food, much, much wine, it's late, it's dark and it's raining and we head back.

Only to find that the electricity is out in half of the Addams Family Manse, they don't know why (so that's why all the lamps were only 20 watt). No lights, no AC, no flashlights, no candles and no clue as to when an electrician can come out and fix the problem.

And we have 2 ladies in their 80s who need a place to sleep without worrying about falling and tripping in the dark. We call the Mimosa and not only do they answer their phone, they graciously drop everything and prepare beds for the weary travelers.

We then face to task of packing suitcases sans light. We discover that, in a pinch, cell phones can double as flashlights. Luckily, we have 3 teenagers in the group so we have cell phones aplenty. We grope our way about the rooms aiming the phones at bureau tops, bathroom counters and closets while we try to gather everything up.

My girls go spend the night with my brother, my brother and nephew opt to rough it at the B&B since their room is the half of the building that does have lights - and door knobs. We stuff the family matriarchs in our car and head for Minosa.

We arrive to find the lights on, the beds turned down and all's well that ends well. And we know where we are holding our next reunion!


KarbonKountyMoos said...

Oh Guusje, this is hysterical - I'm sure that it will be a lot funnier after some time passes. It does sound like one for the books!

Do you have any photos? You know, doorknobs leaping to the floor, 20 watt bulbs, dim witted b&b hostesses?

Julie said...

Ohmigosh, it's the Bates Motel!